Well, another day another moan.
Today I have managed to get diagnonsensed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Ohhhhh, I hear you all ohhhh in unison, no don't ohhhhh. I am not best pleased with this diagnonsense for the reasons of my moan tonight.
1. The psychiatrist that diagnosed this disorder has never seen me. He is going on an old query by a one off assessment made by someone else and the notes that a CPN took- also only in one appointment.
2. This has to be one of the most over looked diagnoses made by health 'professionals'. For example, the CPN told me what she and 'her team' had decided was wrong with me, gave me a print out from MIND , proceeded to tell me that I would not be receiving any further care from 'her team' as they were for longstanding and severe mental health problems. That means for me I have no counsellor, no CPN, no GP and no shrink!
3. I am exactly where I was 2 years ago except I now have this diagnonsense over my head and a hell of a lot more scars on my body.
4. Apparently the reason people have thought that I am mentally ill is because BPD mimics Bipolar, not because I have a mental illness. That would be too easy!
5. BPD does not appear to explain my manic moods or the fact that my manic moods and my 'low' moods last for anything from a week to months, well months for 'low'; weeks for manic. BPD sufferers, like me, suffer these mood swings daily, hourly but it does not persist like mines. On a day to day basis if I am not in an 'episode' my mood swings, but if I am in an 'episode' my mood is static in that particular mood.
There are so many reasons for me to moan tonight, seriously I could go on all night but I am quite positive that of the few of you that have not fallen asleep or off your chairs are about ready to do so.
So I shall leave you with my thought of the day:
It is said that we have the same amount of hair follicles per square inch as monkeys, so does that mean that hairy men are just educated monkeys?
Tuesday, 31 July 2007
Sunday, 29 July 2007
Musings of a Sunday morn.
Well, here I am.
4am on a Sunday morning and I find myself wondering, not only why am I still awake, but also should I get out of bed for that pee that I have been needing for about an hour?
I think that can be answered by you witnessing the fact that I am currently sitting in my bed writting this!
Have you ever wondered why you do certain things, I mean someone asks you not to do something yet you do it anyway. Do you think you do it because you seek the adrenalin, or because you like getting in trouble, you dont know why you dont it or you are just a complete bitch. At the moment I am siding with being a bitch. I feel it is my true calling, well my calling is certainly not being a nun so I may as well enjoy life!
Also, have you ever noticed that life seems so much calmer and easier at 4am. Its as though the indigo of the skys qualm the beasts rising within you, within humanity. Everyone is alseep, apart from the idiotic few that are lucky enough to get to witness the indigo skys.
I like the silhouette of the trees against the purple awash with blue horizon, its a lovely feeling of tranquillity. You never seem to get that feeling at any other time, you always find reasons for your life to be chaotic, apart from at 4am with the indigo heavens above you.
Perhaps more of us should become nocturnal, but then that might ruin this, this small piece of ecstasy, this rapture, this indigo sky.
4am on a Sunday morning and I find myself wondering, not only why am I still awake, but also should I get out of bed for that pee that I have been needing for about an hour?
I think that can be answered by you witnessing the fact that I am currently sitting in my bed writting this!
Have you ever wondered why you do certain things, I mean someone asks you not to do something yet you do it anyway. Do you think you do it because you seek the adrenalin, or because you like getting in trouble, you dont know why you dont it or you are just a complete bitch. At the moment I am siding with being a bitch. I feel it is my true calling, well my calling is certainly not being a nun so I may as well enjoy life!
Also, have you ever noticed that life seems so much calmer and easier at 4am. Its as though the indigo of the skys qualm the beasts rising within you, within humanity. Everyone is alseep, apart from the idiotic few that are lucky enough to get to witness the indigo skys.
I like the silhouette of the trees against the purple awash with blue horizon, its a lovely feeling of tranquillity. You never seem to get that feeling at any other time, you always find reasons for your life to be chaotic, apart from at 4am with the indigo heavens above you.
Perhaps more of us should become nocturnal, but then that might ruin this, this small piece of ecstasy, this rapture, this indigo sky.
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